When in doubt, just don’t leave.
I love to push into the Gospel stories, to take the people who populate them—the ones we’ve flattened into two-dimensional adjectives—and refold them like origami so we can see more of their personalities, more of their faithfulness.
Recently, Thomas has been on my mind. You know, “Doubting Thomas.” All we seem to remember about him is that he questioned Jesus’ resurrection. But tradition has it that Thomas travelled all the way to India and died there for his faith. That’s not the legacy of a skeptic.
Thomas drew a metaphorical
line in the sand.
The first time Jesus appeared among the disciples, it was Sunday evening, the same day He arose. Thomas wasn’t there. We don’t know where he was. When he caught up with the rest of the disciples later, he just couldn’t believe what they said about Jesus being alive! He knew these guys; he’d spent the last three years with them; still, he couldn’t trust them enough to believe that. Thomas drew a metaphorical line in the sand: “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were…I will not believe” (John 20:25).
We cast Thomas in a bad light here, but he wasn’t any different from the other disciples. Peter and John hadn’t believed Mary on that first morning. Remember? They had to run to the tomb and see for themselves (John 20:1-10). This resurrection thing was brand new. Even the night before Jesus’ death, no one understood what was going to happen. I don’t think Thomas was doubting Jesus so much as he was doubting his fellow disciples.
Thomas may have been a doubter,
but he wasn’t a deserter.
Thomas dug his feet into the sand behind his metaphorical line for a week. He didn’t go away, but neither did he believe. Don’t miss this: Thomas didn’t leave! He may have been a doubter, but he wasn’t a deserter.
The next Sunday night, all the disciples gathered in that same room—including Thomas—and Jesus appeared again. He was just there.
One second, no Jesus.
The next second, Jesus.
He greeted everyone perfunctorily, then turned straight to Thomas. He didn’t scold Thomas or withhold anything from him. He simply stretched out his hand and asked Thomas to touch Him. He gave Thomas what he needed in order to believe. With His actions, He answered Thomas’ doubt, then He commanded Thomas to believe.
Thomas immediately confessed his faith: “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28). There’s no greater acclamation.
I don’t know about you, but I have doubted. Sometimes, I still doubt. Maybe you should call me “Doubting Carole.” That’s why Thomas’ story encourages me so much. Like him, there’s more to me than my doubts. Like him, I can live with those doubts for a little while, until Jesus answers them.
In doubt, stay close…
stay where Jesus can
reach out to you.
As believers, the key for you and me when we doubt is that we don’t leave. Like Thomas, we stick around. We continue meeting with other believers. We keep searching our Bibles for answers. We persist in prayer (even when we think, “Umm, I don’t know if you’re even there, God.”). Like Thomas, we simply stay close, stay where He can reach out to us. The day will come—I know it will because I’ve been there—when He removes the doubt and our belief resurfaces. Then we, like Thomas, can exclaim without reservation, “My Lord and my God!”
Can you recall a time when you experienced serious doubts about God? I can, and my faith is stronger from having experienced that! Let me know how you persevered through doubts or how this post affects you…or anything else you want to say in response. That’s what the comment section is for!